All "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs"
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Love" (July 8, 2010)
"Letter to McSweeney's" (Issue 35, July, 2010)
"Okay, America: We're Turning Everything into Vampires" (June 30, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Knowledge" (June 23, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Destinations" (June 9, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Absence" (June 1, 2010)
"Rules and Regulations for Benehmen!, the German Board Game of Discipline" (May 21, 2010)
"The Rejection of Anne Frank" (May 13, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Reciprocity" (May 10, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Procrastination" (Apr. 26, 2010)
"The Most Radical, Bitchin', Totally Awesome Retro Prom Ever!" (Apr. 16, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Pleasures" (Apr. 13, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Perfection" (Mar. 31, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Necessity" (Mar. 22, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Deception" (Mar. 8, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Laughter" (Feb. 26, 2010)
"Subject-Verb Disagreements" (Feb. 11, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Accuracy" (Feb. 11, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Prejudice" (Jan. 26, 2010)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Sequentiality" (Jan. 13, 2010)
"New Year's Resolutions" (Dec. 31, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Enhancement" (Dec. 22, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Inferiority" (Dec. 11, 2009)
"I Need to Improve My Responses to Hecklers" (Dec. 7, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Brevity" (Nov. 23, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Motion" (Nov. 10, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Unity" (Oct. 21, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Imitation" (Oct. 5, 2009)
"Arse Poetica" (Oct. 2, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Solitude" (Sept. 18, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Precautions" (Sept. 1, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Enticement" (Aug. 17, 2009)
"Microsoft Entourage" (Aug. 3, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Stoicism" (July 23, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Vengeance" (July 9, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Heart" (June 23, 2009)
"Easy Instructions for the Conversion to Digital TV" (June 12, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Perseverance" (June 5, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Caution" (May 18, 2009)
"My Pitches for Political-Satire Skits Playing on President Obama's Foibles Keep Getting Shot Down" (May 6, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Wisdom" (Apr. 27, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Free Will" (Apr. 6, 2009)
"Saved by the Bell: The Grad School Years" (Mar. 23, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Self-Reliance" (Mar. 16, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Freedom" (Feb. 24, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Opportunity" (Feb. 3, 2009)
"Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Friendship" (Jan. 22, 2009)
"From The Clog: Manchester, Vermont's Insider Gossip Blog for Plumbers" (Jan. 13, 2009)
"Your Best Friend in a Romantic Comedy Is Always There For You" (Dec. 4, 2008)
"The Audacity of Despair" (Oct. 28, 2008)
"Your Candidate for Class Treasurer Has Something to Disclose" (Oct. 8, 2008)
"Soberly Written Documents Rendered as Comic-Book Dialogue!" (Aug. 7, 2008)
"A Former WWF Wrestler, Now a Surburban Realtor and Parent of Three, Campaigns for PTA Chair and Battles His Instincts" (June 10, 2008)
"Top Searches on Gogol.com" (June 5, 2008)
"The Catcher in the Retirement Home" (Apr. 17, 2008)
Three pieces anthologized in The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes, available from Random House/Vintage (Apr. 1, 2008)
"'Page Six' Gets Extremely Personal" (Mar. 11, 2008)
"Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction: 'The Middle School Dance' by Melissa Bell, Age 13" (Feb. 7, 2008)
"Ishmael The Comedian" (Jan. 9, 2008)
"An Inarticulate, Self-Consciously Ironic Voice of His Twentysomething Generation Makes an Opening Statement for His Client in a Corporate-Fraud Case" (Nov. 13, 2007)
"We're Huge in Europe" (Oct. 2, 2007)
"Debate for Emperor of the Upsilon Sigma Star System" (Aug. 27, 2007)
"Why There Will Never Be a Lactose-Intolerant President" (Aug. 6, 2007)
"Ivan Lendl, Former Tennis Champion and Current Landscape-Painting Teacher in the Goshen, Connecticut, Community Center" (June 1, 2007)
"Planned Parenthood's Plans C, D, E, F, and G for Iraqi Insurgent Control" (Apr. 13, 2007)
"My Interactive Call Center" (Mar. 23, 2007)
"I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named 'Elgdorf the Mage' Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges" (Oct. 26, 2006)
"Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself" (Sept. 18, 2006)
"Why There Aren't Many Right-Wing Observational Comedians" (May 22, 2006)
"Feedback From James Joyce's Submission of Ulysses to His Creative-Writing Workshop" (May 9, 2006)
"Parallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of the Bush Presidency" (Mar. 21, 2006)
"Listmania!: Other Books Useful (or Not) for Americans to Read, Beyond William Blum's Rogue State, by Osama B-L" (Jan. 23, 2006)
"History's Most Lopsided Trades, as Renegotiated by Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane" (Jan. 16, 2006)
"New Year's Resolutions" (Jan. 6, 2006)
"Ten Reasons Why You, Audrey Tautou, Gamine French Star of Amélie, Should Date Me, Teddy Wayne" (Oct. 24, 2005)
"Urgent Proposal" (Aug. 30, 2005)
"Where Are They Now?" (Aug. 9, 2005)
"Bawdy Best-Man Speeches, Given by the Actual Best Man on Earth at the Time" (June 9, 2005)
"Awkward Interloper of the Realm: Christmas Day With My New Girlfriend's Family As a Circa-1982 Text-Based Computer Adventure Game" (May 23, 2005)
"Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate" (Apr. 12, 2005)
"2008 Presidential Stump Speech of Billy Bush, Cousin of George W. Bush and Access Hollywood Entertainment Reporter" (Mar. 16, 2005)
"The Fabulous Friends: Conservative Christian Groups' Least-Favorite All-Star Cartoon" (Jan. 27, 2005)
"Welcome to Cancún!" (Jan. 24, 2005)
"Johnson's Life of Boswell" (Dec. 15, 2004) |
