NEWS
The New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs: "Postmadern Men" (Aug. 2, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Why Elite Shoppers Eschew Logos" (July 26, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Letter to McSweeney's" (Issue 35, July, 2010)
Five Chapters: "What a Good Boy" (July 26-30, 2010)
Kapitoil released in the UK and Commonwealth by Duckworth Publishers (July 22, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "My Favorite Things 2.0" (July 20, 2010)
Guide to Literary Agents: "How I Got My Agent: Teddy Wayne" (July 20, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Where the Bloggers Are Concentrated" (July 19, 2010)
Time: "What To Read This Summer" (July 15, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "U.S. History According to Mapquest" (July 15, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Confidentiality Notice" (July 13, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Most Smartphones Are Underused" (July 12, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Love" (July 8, 2010)
The L Magazine: "Teddy Wayne Can No Longer Watch Charles in Charge Reruns" (July 7, 2010)
GQ: "Q+A: HowAboutWe Reinvent Internet Dating" (July 6, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "On Twitter, a Close-Knit Network" (July 5, 2010)
Time: "Bestselling Authors Recommend Summer Books" (July 3, 2010)
Vanity Fair: "The Suburban Spy Transcripts" (July 1, 2010)
Edmonton SEE: "The Kapitoil Assignment" (July 1, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Subtext" (July 1, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Okay, America: We're Turning Everything into Vampires" (June 30, 2010)
GQ: "Q+A: Electric Literature" (June 29, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Online Video's Appeal Is Often Comic" (June 28, 2010)
Minyanville: "'Veiled Agendas' of News Stories -- and Oil Traders" (June 25, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Maxim Profiles Esther Rosenbaum" (June 24, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Knowledge" (June 23, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Your Facebook Colonoscopy" (June 21, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Phone Style Says Something About You" (June 21, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Managing Reputations on Social Sites" (June 14, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Calling the World Cup" (June 11, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Destinations" (June 9, 2010)
The Huffington Post: "The Best Post-9/11 Novel: Huffington Post Interviews Teddy Wayne, Author of Kapitoil" (June 7, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Settling In for Longer Videos Online" (June 7, 2010)
Largehearted Boy: "Book Notes - Teddy Wayne (Kapitoil)" (June 4, 2010)
The New York Observer: "If He Told All..." (June 1, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Absence" (June 1, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Online Buzz Doesn't Equate to Ratings" (May 31, 2010)
BlackBook: "Author Teddy Wayne on His New Book Kapitoil" (May 26, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Teenagers Text More Than They Call" (May 24, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Rules and Regulations for Benehmen!, the German Board Game of Discipline" (May 21, 2010)
Wall Street Journal: "How Business Jargon Inspired a New Novel" (May 18, 2010)
Time Out New York: "Off-page with Teddy Wayne" (May 20-26, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Positive Results for Online Government" (May 17, 2010)
McSweeney's: "The Rejection of Anne Frank" (May 13, 2010)
Vanity Fair: "Congratulations (Sort Of)" (May 10, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Reciprocity" (May 10, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Awareness of Twitter Climbs Quickly" (May 10, 2010)
New York Times Op-Ed: "Date With a Neanderthal" (May 9, 2010)
Impose Magazine: "5 Best Things Teddy Wayne Has Read Recently" (May 7, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Coupons Are Making a Comeback" (May 2, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Procrastination" (Apr. 26, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "A Milestone for Internet Ad Revenue" (Apr. 26, 2010)
The Rumpus: "The Rumpus Interview with David Goodwillie and Teddy Wayne" (Apr. 22, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Director's Commentary" (Apr. 20, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Falling Sales for the Printed Word" (Apr. 19, 2010)
GQ: "Found Document of the Day: Preliminary Notes Toward My Wall Street Novel, Kapitoil" (Apr. 16, 2010)
McSweeney's: "The Most Radical, Bitchin', Totally Awesome Retro Prom Ever!" (Apr. 16, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Bad Publicity" (Apr. 14, 2010)
Forward: "Debut Novel Kapitoil Produces a Surprisingly Likeable Jewess" (Apr. 14, 2010)
Electric Literature: Excerpt from Kapitoil (Apr. 13, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Pleasures" (Apr. 13, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "The New Publishing" (Apr. 13, 2010)
GQ: "The First Funny Novel About Oil" (Apr. 13, 2010)
Vanity Fair: With Kapitoil, Teddy Wayne Invents—and Perfects!—the Pre-9/11 Novel" (Apr. 12, 2010)
Harper Perennial Fifty-Two Stories: "Therese Says" (Apr. 5, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Tax, Man" (Apr. 5, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Perfection" (Mar. 31, 2010)
Real Simple: "21 Things in Life That are Worth Your Time: People-Watching on Public Transportation" (Apr. 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Necessity" (Mar. 22, 2010)
GQ: "Q+A: Nora Kirkpatrick, Renaissance Woman" (Mar. 15, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Dating Me: A Scouting Report" (Mar. 11, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Deception" (Mar. 8, 2010)
The Huffington Post: "Interview with filmmaker Kentucker Audley" (Mar. 8, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Laughter" (Feb. 26, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "My Public Apology" (Feb. 26, 2010)
Comedy Central: (video) "The Worst Speeches of All Time: The Megan Fox Platform" (Feb. 16, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Subject-Verb Disagreements" (Feb. 11, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Accuracy" (Feb. 11, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "It's a Hellish World After All" (Feb. 8, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Overlooked (For a Reason) Super Bowl Moments" (Feb. 6, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Out of Print" (Feb. 1, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Some Other Monologues" (Jan. 28, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Welcome to George and Cindy's Divorce Proceedings Website!" (Jan. 26, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Prejudice" (Jan. 26, 2010)
USA Today Op-Ed: "Social Media is Ushering in the Death of Authenticity" (Jan. 20, 2010)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Sequentiality" (Jan. 13, 2010)
The Huffington Post: "Interview with Jami Attenberg, Author of 'The Melting Season'" (Jan. 11, 2010)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Second Opinion" (Jan. 6, 2010)
New York Times Drilling Down: "A Toast to Advances in Technology" (Jan. 3, 2010)
McSweeney's: "New Year's Resolutions" (Dec. 31, 2009)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "Pledge Week, 2039" (Dec. 30, 2009)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "The e-back®: CAMOUFLAGE FOR YOUR E-READER" (Dec. 28, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "TV Ad Revenue Slips, but Hope Persists" (Dec. 28, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Enhancement" (Dec. 22, 2009)
Comedy Central: (video) "The Worst Speeches of All Time: Girl Ruins Christmas Mass" (Dec. 21, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Spending Less and Looking for Deals" (Dec. 21, 2009)
Barnes and Noble Review Grin & Tonic: "I, HORPA" (Dec. 16, 2009)
Harper Perennial Olive Reader: "Holiday Grab Bag" (Dec. 16, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Digital Habits Shift Across Age Groups" (Dec. 14, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Inferiority" (Dec. 11, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Web Shopping Rush Sticks to Top Sites" (Dec. 7, 2009)
McSweeney's: "I Need to Improve My Responses to Hecklers" (Dec. 7, 2009)
Minyanville: "Breathe in One Billion, Breathe Out One Billion" (Dec. 3, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Cash in the Forefront for the Holidays" (Nov. 30, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Brevity" (Nov. 23, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Motion" (Nov. 10, 2009)
Minyanville: "Why Authors Skip Hardback, Too" (Nov. 10, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Unity" (Oct. 21, 2009)
Significant Objects: "Wave Box" (Oct. 7, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Imitation" (Oct. 5, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Arse Poetica" (Oct. 2, 2009)
Real Simple Back Page: "New Fees Effective This Month" (Oct. 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Solitude" (Sept. 18, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Precautions" (Sept. 1, 2009)
Comedy Central: (video) "The Worst Speeches of All Time: Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction" (Aug. 31, 2009)
Comedy Central/Atom Films: (video) "The Worst Speeches of All Time: Pro Wrestler's PTA Campaign" (Aug. 31, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Enticement" (Aug. 17, 2009)
Vanity Fair: "The Summer of Love 2.009" (Aug. 12, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Microsoft Entourage" (Aug. 3, 2009)
The Faster Times: "The Decimation of the New York Mets Active Roster Continues Unabated" (July 28, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Stoicism" (July 23, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Vengeance" (July 9, 2009)
The Huffington Post: "Interview with Mike Sacks, Author of "And Here's the Kicker" (July 9, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Heart" (June 23, 2009)
CLEO: "Is This the Most Useless Degree in the World?" (July 2009)
The Huffington Post: "J.D. California is a Goddam Thief Who Ripped Me Off, Too" (June 18, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Easy Instructions for the Conversion to Digital TV" (June 12, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Perseverance" (June 5, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "The Power of a Nudge Toward Thrift" (May 25, 2009)
CLEO: "What Type of Social Notworker Are You?" (June 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Social Networks Eclipse E-Mail" (May 18, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Caution" (May 18, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Twitter's Trouble With Repeat Users" (May 11, 2009)
McSweeney's: "My Pitches for Political-Satire Skits Playing on President Obama's Foibles Keep Getting Shot Down" (May 6, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "The Hispanic Audience Grows Online" (May 4, 2009)
New York Times Drilling Down: "Small Ticket vs. Big Ticket Ad Buying" (Apr. 27, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Wisdom" (Apr. 27, 2009)
Tar Art: "Woody Allen Reassures a Neurotic Nation on the Economy" (Spring 2009)
Real Simple Back Page: "Merit Badges for Grown-Ups" (May 2009)
CLEO: "What Do Celebs Really Do All Day?" (May 2009)
Vanity Fair: "For College Students, Getting Accepted Ain't What It Used To Be" (Apr. 15, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Free Will" (Apr. 6, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Saved by the Bell: The Grad School Years" (Mar. 23, 2009)
Real Simple Back Page: "If My 13-Year-Old Filed Taxes..." (Apr. 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Self-Reliance" (Mar. 16, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Freedom" (Feb. 24, 2009)
The New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs: "A 16th-Century Actor Suffers a Meltdown at London's Globe Theatre" (Feb. 13, 2009)
The Forward: "A Book of Insults—Exploring Yiddish Curses" (Feb. 12, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Opportunity" (Feb. 3, 2009)
McSweeney's: "Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs: Friendship" (Jan. 22, 2009)
McSweeney's: "From The Clog: Manchester, Vermont's Insider Gossip Blog for Plumbers" (Jan. 13, 2009)
McSweeney's: "New Year's Resolutions" (Dec. 31, 2008)
McSweeney's: "Your Best Friend in a Romantic Comedy Is Always There For You" (Dec. 4, 2008)
Vanity Fair: "Pardon Me" (Nov. 26, 2008)
Vanity Fair: "John McCain's Rejected Concession Speeches" (Nov. 4, 2008)
McSweeney's: "The Audacity of Despair" (Oct. 28, 2008)
Radar: (video) "Sarah Meets Woody" (Oct. 22, 2008)
Radar: "Adult Friends Forever" (Oct. 21, 2008)
McSweeney's: "Your Candidate for Class Treasurer Has Something to Disclose" (Oct. 8, 2008)
The Huffington Post: "The Art of Losing: Americans' Fixation on Winning Personalities" (Sept. 25, 2008)
David Foster Wallace-related material: undergraduate thesis on Infinite Jest from 2001; affectionate parody from 2005
Performance of McSweeney's piece: "Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction: 'The Middle School Dance,' by Melissa Bell, Age 13" by Casey Teeter of Cincinnati, Ohio (original piece here)
The Huffington Post: "Goobama: Obama is the Google Candidate" (Sept. 9, 2008)
Real Simple Back Page: "Google Moms" (Sept. 2008)
Real Simple Back Page: "Tech Support For Life" (Aug. 2008)
23/6: "The World's Worst PR Guy Spins for John Edwards" (Aug. 11, 2008)
McSweeney's: "Soberly Written Documents Rendered as Comic-Book Dialogue!" (Aug. 7, 2008)
23/6: "Vampyre/Fascists '08! Presenting the Fringe Candidates" (Aug. 5, 2008)
23/6: "The World's Worst PR Guy Spins for Ted Stevens" (July 30, 2008)
23/6: "If They IM'd: Condoleezza Rice and Iran" (July 22, 2008)
Slate: Video blog pick for 23/6's "Gaffe Track (Club Remix Feat. DJ Barry O.)" (July 18, 2008)
MSNBC: News segment on 23/6's "Gaffe Track (Club Remix Feat. DJ Barry O.)" (July 17, 2008)
23/6: (video) "Gaffe Track (Club Remix Feat. DJ Barry O.)" (July 16, 2008)
23/6: "The World's Worst PR Guy Spins for Wesley Clark" (July 3, 2008)
23/6: "Where Will Your Bleeding Heart Move To?" (June 30, 2008)
23/6: "If It's Not McCain, Someone's Got to Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran" (June 24, 2008)
23/6: "Ted Strickland on Obama VP Shortlist, Still Needs to Work on Fadeaway Jumper" (June 11, 2008)
McSweeney's: "A Former WWF Wrestler, Now a Surburban Realtor and Parent of Three, Campaigns for PTA Chair and Battles His Instincts" (June 10, 2008)
McSweeney's: "Top Searches on Gogol.com" (June 5, 2008)
Radar: "Family Values" (June 3, 2008)
23/6: "An Overstimulated, Underinformed Wesleyan Sophomore Writes a Campus Newspaper Editorial On Barack Obama's Commencement Speech" (May 27, 2008)
23/6: "The World's Worst PR Guy Spins for Hillary Clinton" (May 22, 2008)
23/6: "Barack Obama Sets Milestone For Number of Times We Hear 'Milestone'" (May 21, 2008)
The New Yorker: "The Book Bench: Books About Books" (May 16, 2008)
Esquire Back Page: "Great Works of Literature as Text Messages" (June 2008)
McSweeney's: "The Catcher in the Retirement Home" (Apr. 17, 2008)
23/6: "An Underinformed, Overstimulated Wesleyan Sophomore Liveblogs the Democratic Debate" (Apr. 17, 2008)
23/6: "Candidates' Lips Meet America's Butt" (Apr. 17, 2008)
McSweeney's: Three pieces anthologized in The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes, available from Random House/Vintage (Apr. 1, 2008)
Vanity Fair: "Have You Two Met?" (Mar. 19, 2008)
McSweeney's: "'Page Six' Gets Extremely Personal" (Mar. 11, 2008)
McSweeney's: "Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction: 'The Middle School Dance' by Melissa Bell, Age 13" (Feb. 7, 2008)
Esquire Back Page: "Physical-Therapy Exercises for Other Injurious Situations" (Feb. 2008)
McSweeney's: "Ishmael The Comedian" (Jan. 9, 2008)
23/6: "A Humorless NARAL Member Cashes in on the Young Woman-Pregnancy Comedy Craze" (Jan. 8, 2008)
23/6: "A College Sex Columnist Ponders the Major Geopolitics Questions of Our Day" (Dec. 10, 2007)
23/6: "Personal Ads These Days Are Very Specific!" (Nov. 28, 2007)
23/6: "When I Meet George W. Bush, I Will Unleash My Full Arsenal of Sixth-Grade Taunts" (Nov. 21, 2007)
McSweeney's: "An Inarticulate, Self-Consciously Ironic Voice of His Twentysomething Generation Makes an Opening Statement for His Client in a Corporate-Fraud Case" (Nov. 13, 2007)
Radar: "50 Things Not To Say At The Thanksgiving Table" (Nov. 13, 2007)
23/6: "My Confirmation" (Nov. 9, 2007)
Radar: "Novel Gazing" (Nov. 2007)
Radar: "50 Halloween Costumes To Avoid" (Oct. 29, 2007)
McSweeney's: "We're Huge in Europe" (Oct. 2, 2007)
Radar: "Antique Roadshow: Q&A With Millard Kaufman" (Sept. 9, 2007)
New York Times Op-Ed: "Monday Night Existentialism" (Sept. 8, 2007)
Radar: "100 Reasons You're Still Single" (Sept. 2007)
Penthouse: "Primary Heat" (Sept. 2007)
Penthouse: "Spank You and Good Night" (Sept. 2007)
McSweeney's: "Debate for Emperor of the Upsilon Sigma Star System" (Aug. 27, 2007)
McSweeney's: "Why There Will Never Be a Lactose-Intolerant President" (Aug. 6, 2007)
Radar: "Virtual Depravity" (Aug. 6, 2007)
Radar: "From 90210 To 9/11: How The Early '90s Changed the World" (July 27, 2007)
McSweeney's: "Ivan Lendl, Former Tennis Champion and Current Landscape-Painting Teacher in the Goshen, Connecticut, Community Center" (June 1, 2007)
New York Times Op-Ed: "Red Carpets Through History" (May 27, 2007)
McSweeney's: "Planned Parenthood's Plans C, D, E, F, and G for Iraqi Insurgent Control" (Apr. 13, 2007)
Los Angeles Times Op-Ed: "A Whole New Ballgame" (Apr. 1, 2007)
Esquire Back Page: "The Kama Sutra: The Corrections" (Apr. 2007)
New York Times Op-Ed: (with Greg Wayne) "It's Fantasy Office 2007" (Mar. 30, 2007)
Time Print Essay: "Top 10 Best Sellers of 2027" (Mar. 26, 2007)
McSweeney's: "My Interactive Call Center" (Mar. 23, 2007)
The Carolina Quarterly: "Page 88" (Spring 2007, Vol. 58, No. 2)
The Carolina Quarterly: "Plus or Minus One" (Spring 2007, Vol. 58, No. 2)
Time Print Essay: "The 2008 American Auto Show" (Mar. 5, 2007)
Radar: "Musicians Appearing On TV Shows As Themselves" (Feb. 26, 2007)
Radar: "TV Shows Canceled After One Season" (Feb. 22, 2007)
Radar: "Prank Call To Arms" (Jan. 26-27, 2007)
Time Print Essay: "New Emoticons for 2007" (Jan. 22, 2007)
Vanity Fair: "Winono Forever" (Dec. 2006, p. 292)
New York Times Op-Ed: "The Election's Most Personal Attack Ad" (Nov. 9, 2006)
Yankee Pot Roast: "How Various Michael J. Fox Roles Would Be Different Had Rush Limbaugh Instead Been Cast" (Nov. 1, 2006)
McSweeney's: "I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named 'Elgdorf the Mage' Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges" (Oct. 26, 2006)
Yankee Pot Roast: "Less Overtly Salacious but More Incriminating Republican IM Transcripts" (Oct. 10, 2006)
Denver Quarterly: "Twenty-Six Sentences About Zelda" (Fall 2006, Vol. 41, No. 1)
The Onion: "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Gerrymandered To Serve King Friday's Make-Believe Agenda" (headline only) (Sept. 19, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself" (Sept. 18, 2006)
Time: "Now, the Sequel to Lonelygirl15" (Sept. 13, 2006)
Time: "Sneak Preview: Ahmadinejad vs. Bush" (Aug. 29, 2006)
Time: "Taking the Paris Hilton Celibacy Challenge" (Aug. 8, 2006)
Time: "An Early 90s MTV VJ Gracelessly Transitions Into Life as a Delaware-Area Adult-Contemporary DJ" (Aug. 1, 2006)
Time: "Googling for the CIA" (June 23, 2006)
Time: "'Hello, Mr. President. It's Al Gore Calling'" (June 2, 2006)
Time: "That Magic 714" (May 23, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Why There Aren't Many Right-Wing Observational Comedians" (May 22, 2006)
Yankee Pot Roast: "Non-Celebrity Gawker Stalker" (May 16, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Feedback From James Joyce's Submission of Ulysses to His Creative-Writing Workshop" (May 9, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Parallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of the Bush Presidency" (Mar. 21, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Listmania!: Other Books Useful (or Not) for Americans to Read, Beyond William Blum's Rogue State, by Osama B-L" (Jan. 23, 2006)
McSweeney's: "History's Most Lopsided Trades, as Renegotiated by Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane" (Jan. 16, 2006)
McSweeney's: "New Year's Resolutions" (Jan. 6, 2006)
McSweeney's: "Ten Reasons Why You, Audrey Tautou, Gamine French Star of Amélie, Should Date Me, Teddy Wayne" (Oct. 24, 2005)
Canned Coffee Reviews: "Boss - Cafe au Lait" (Oct. 24, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Urgent Proposal" (Aug. 30, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Where Are They Now?" (Aug. 9, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "Judy and Jim in Paris" (July 14, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Bawdy Best-Man Speeches, Given by the Actual Best Man on Earth at the Time" (June 9, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "I Am Tom Cruise, and I Love Women" (June 7, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Awkward Interloper of the Realm: Christmas Day With My New Girlfriend's Family As a Circa-1982 Text-Based Computer Adventure Game" (May 23, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "The Weatherman's Weekend Forecast" (May 20, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "The Night of Standup Comedy I Recently Saw, Reduced to Its Logical Abstractions, as per Freud's Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious" (Apr. 20, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate" (Apr. 12, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "Temping in Vatican City" (Apr. 4, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "Other Overwrought Acceptance Speeches" (Mar. 25, 2005)
McSweeney's: "2008 Presidential Stump Speech of Billy Bush, Cousin of George W. Bush and Access Hollywood Entertainment Reporter" (Mar. 16, 2005)
Yankee Pot Roast: "David Foster Wallace, TV Guide Synopsist" (Feb. 17, 2005)
McSweeney's: "The Fabulous Friends: Conservative Christian Groups' Least-Favorite All-Star Cartoon" (Jan. 27, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Welcome to Cancún!" (Jan. 24, 2005)
McSweeney's: "Johnson's Life of Boswell" (Dec. 15, 2004)
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