Adult Friends Forever

October 21, 2008By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Oct. 21, 2008) In the past week, I have seen hundreds of vaginas—shaven and hirsute, flowering out like Georgia O’Keeffe paintings and demure as habited nuns; scores of aggressively turgid, rhizomatically veined penises; breasts of varying degrees of authenticity, proportion, and symmetry; and an emotionally scarring amount of anuses. For … Read More

Family Values

June 3, 2008By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on June 3, 2008) Everyone knows that having a famous last name can score an unqualified scion plum Hollywood roles, corporate board seats—even the U.S. presidency (we’re looking your way, John Quincy Adams). But can it get you, a clown, a mime, and a magician a prime table at Spago Beverly … Read More

Stuff It: 50 Things Not To Say at the Thanksgiving Table

November 13, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Nov. 13, 2007) As the Thanksgiving holiday rapidly approaches, you may be experiencing a sense of looming dread. The holidays are a difficult time for even the happiest of families: There’s something about forced cheer, overheated dining rooms, and ample alcohol that make you just want to let loose and … Read More

What Not To Wear: 50 Halloween Costumes To Avoid

October 29, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

By Teddy Wayne, Mike Sacks, and Dan Kennedy (Originally appeared in Radar on Oct. 29, 2007) Whether you’re trying to get lucky or simply look cool this Halloween, here are 50 costumes you’re better off skipping: 1. Amish sexpot 2. Barry Bonds’s future Hall of Fame asterisk 3. Smooth-jazz xylophonist 4. Composite of Anthony Michael … Read More

100 Reasons You’re Still Single

September 1, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

By Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Mike Sacks, and Teddy Wayne (Originally appeared in Radar Sept. 2007) Why are you still single? Possibly because you… 1. Call Grey’s Anatomy simply “Grey’s” 2. Have entertained the notion that “the Axe Effect” is real 3. Own tie-dyed gym clothes 4. Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles … Read More

Virtual Depravity

August 6, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Aug. 6, 2007) Men will do anything for sex—even cybersex. In Second Life, the virtual-reality online environment populated by well over a million different users, one of the favorite pastimes is, predictably, sex. SL sex acts between “avatars,” user-modified animated characters, ranges from innocent cuddling to BDSM to the improbably … Read More

Sindergarten

March 30, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

The Latest Craze For NYC’s Wealthy Teens Is Acting Like Little Children—While On Club Drug Foxy By Teddy Wayne (Originally appeared as an April Fool’s hoax in Radar on Mar. 30, 2007) By Edward Wain (aka Teddy Wayne) It’s 11:30 on a Friday, and a dozen students from Dalton, the elite Manhattan private school, are … Read More

Musicians Appearing On TV Shows As Themselves

February 26, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Feb. 26, 2007) The Flaming Lips’s guest spot on Beverly Hills, 90210 (Steve Sanders’s painfully early-’90s pronouncement: “I’ve never been a big fan of alternative music, but these guys rocked the house!”) seemed harmless at the time, but let’s take stock of what that seminal moment has brought us in … Read More

TV Shows Canceled After One Season

February 22, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Feb. 22, 2007) Behold the graveyard: Freaks and Geeks, which showed how the other half of high school lived in the Reagan era; creator Judd Apatow’s contemporary, collegiate update, Undeclared; Lisa Kudrow’s sitcom-within-a-reality-show- within-a-sitcom, The Comeback; and Wonderfalls, the quirky dramedy about a quasi-schizophrenic. All of these recent single-camera, laugh-trackless … Read More

Prank Call to Arms

January 26, 2007By Teddy WayneClips, Posts

(Originally appeared in Radar on Jan. 26-27, 2007) An overwhelmingly popular war…a maximum one-year tour of duty…and a hospitable Middle Eastern paradise. Military recruiters must be beating them off with an M16, right? To test this hypothesis, Radar’s Teddy Wayne called recruiting stations around the country disguised as a veritable Breakfast Club of misfit would-be … Read More